Your Spotify is Not Bad
A new bot by Mike Lacher and Matt Daniels, called “How Bad is Your Spotify?” will judge how awful your music taste is.
It ranks how basic you are, and gives snarky nicknames for your listening habits. For example, they called my Spotify library “Tommy Bahama bad,” as well as “nineties dorm room bad” and “still upset Gaga didn’t win the Acting Oscar bad.” While I agree this is completely hilarious, it gave me the creeps being reminded of all the times I went into a private session to listen to High School Musical or My Chemical Romance.
I am absolutely in love with Taylor Swift and Panic! at the Disco, but if you asked me what my favorite type of music is, you’ll get something more like this:
“Well, The Foo Fighters, Muse, Sam Fender, Just Friends, Joni Mitchell, Bleachers, Red hot Chili Peppers.” You know — anything not currently mainstream or not from this century.
I know even for saying that, there’ll be criticism.
According to the bot, I’m 29% basic. In the world of music-lovers, that’s as white and as bad as a spoiled jar of mayonnaise.
When talking to music geeks, or anyone, they like to gatekeep music fans. You can like Neutral Milk Hotel, but not unless you like one of their most obscure deep cuts. And your music taste is basic unless you like pop only objectively or ironically. Finally, you should like at least 10 non-mainstream bands, and one artist from each genre.
I’ve never met anyone who does not feel this way about music, even subconsciously. Nor have I met a person who doesn’t go into fight or flight when asked “oh really, what songs do you like?” and they only know the most popular.
In some rooms, If I admit that I don’t like Billie Eilish, I will be threatened with physical violence, where at other gatherings I’m eager to mention it to feel part of the cool group.
Another time, I mentioned how Ariana Grande’s new album, “Positions” particularly the song, “35+34,” didn’t suit her fantastic vocal gift. From then, the loving atmosphere in the room dropped to a deathly, uncomfortable staring contest.
My friend just kept playing more and more of Grande’s songs until I budged and said I KINDA liked her R&B style.
One kid once told me I had a music taste with a pH 10–12 when I praised “Folklore” by Taylor Swift more than twice in a row.
People judge other’s taste for music like a high school dropout’s application to Harvard.
What is it about music that makes us so combative?
You would never feel embarrassed because hamburgers was your favorite food, and you certainly would never get in another person’s face because hamburgers was or was not their favorite food.
It’s so contradictive that on one hand, we’re expected to enjoy a certain type of music, but on the other, we’re criticized for having plain and basic Spotify playlists.
We’re criticized for having bad Spotifys…
For having different Spotifys
Music is a form of self expression. To cry, celebrate, commemorate, or to remember — we listen to our favorite songs.
Musicians have the gift to say the words we can’t quite say ourselves.
Teenagers scream the lyrics of Twenty One Pilots in their bedrooms as a way to cope with the traumas and anxieties of high school.
And yet everyone, from their more sociable peers to their parents scoff and snark, telling them to listen to something less emotional — like a coffee addict telling the person behind them that caramel swirl with cream is better left black.
The enjoyment of music is an expression precious to a lot of us, if not everyone. While it is one thing to take suggestions, to be intimidated into hating genres and artists can be dangerous.
For many young people, music is how they find themselves, connect with others, and in some cases, heal.
“Hair” by Lady Gaga, is a song that truly helps me understand my complicated relationship with my sister; during our worst moments I go back to it and absorb the sweet melodies of a lost woman. However, I used to feel guilty listening to it because I thought it was too basic or not cool.
In 8th grade, I listened to “Crush” by David Archuleta while dreaming of the boy I so anxiously wanted to know more about. Now that he’s no longer with us, the song’s become more sentimental than moon-worthy.
Music is a necessity, like food. For many, it is a staple to happiness, health, and distress. If Taylor Swift is key to the daily nourishment, then that is okay. If The Shanjri Las albums or Baroque pieces is what keeps you moving then that’s fine too. If you’re more of a podcast person that’s awesome as well.
And in the end, it’s another simple preference.
Next time you listen to “High School Musical” or “Baby Shark,” there’s no need to go into a private session. It may sound silly, but take ownership of your music taste. From how you dress, to your love of music, no one gets to tell you how to be yourself.
What are some music preferences you’ve been embarrassed to share?
